A few years ago (I’m embarrassed to say this) I created an online dating profile, just to see what it was like. Advertising yourself on the computer sucks, especially when you’re a bitch, like me. However, I soon found that I wasn’t enough of a bitch online because all these creeps that I didn’t want to talk to were messaging me OFF THE HOOK, even though I’ve only responded to about 1% of received mail. I’ve wanted to start a blog for a while, but couldn’t think of what to write about. I’ve also wanted to delete my full inbox on my stupid dating profile, but there are 300 classic pieces of writing that I, for some reason, find hard to let go of. I mean, some of these are REALLY FUNNY. So I’m sharing them. And before you go off thinking I’m a piece of shit, know that I will not give away these people’s names or usernames or post their pictures, I will just give you the age and maybe a basic physical description if it seems necessary. And to anyone reading this who I may have talked to in the past—don’t worry. If I replied to you, I will not post your shit because it probably was actually really nice and not funny. So, here it goes.
White male, 42, a bit crazy
i do
Nov 22, 2009 – 12:28am
hey daddy-O i just got new release on life by giving my demonic possessions and unknown inherited struggles to Christ so that i may be able to look my self in the mirror and be satisfied. bit of a tear wrenching good -pain releasing experience I’ve got a real friend to help me see myself and has given me a home so now i am able to bathe daily —man was i depressed my old boss that wouldn’t pay me is a very close friend of …well i better not reveal too much about others ya know the gossip train derails a lot of us i paid my 14 arrests jail tickets for public intox ,and have run to the hills. ya know the us government has taken all of our Iodine away from the hands of the public in the name of the drug war ‘cuz Iodine is a key ingredient in the illicit manufacture of methamphetamine and it is the only thing that will preserve human life in case of nuclear radiation fallout and my best friend who is 60+ said you look 14 ………..i got to sleep regular now up at five read study write and down at 9 or close to it ——i changed my profile ‘cuz it was a bunch of fence sitting mumbo jumbo. i’m holding nothing back that i am aware of yet there are new personality quirks i ——oh shoot!!! i just have REAL self esteem now not EGO. laterz
